Practical Ways to Love Your Fiancee or Wife
The scripture commands that husbands should love their wives. If this simple advice is followed, a lot of frictions will be eliminated.
How do you love your fiancee or wife?
Let’s take a look at the scriptures
"Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her," (Eph 5:25-26, MSG)
Husbands are to go all out for their wives. The above scripture says this love is marked by giving and not just getting. Your words should evoke her beauty! Everything you do and say as a man should be designed to bring the best out of her.
What are the practical ways you can love your fiancee/wife?
1. Pray for her
The first way you show love to your wife is to constantly pray for her. She needs your prayers! As singles in a relationship, you need to understand that nobody is perfect. The fact that God said a certain sister is going be your wife does not mean she is going to be perfect and without weaknesses. But you can be sure your prayers for her will go a long way in dealing with issues that will arise as a result of differential opinions and outlooks.
Rather than argue endlessly, pray for her. Rather than conclude that she is difficult and impossible, pray for her. Rather than end that relationship, pray for her first.
Learn to fight for what God has given you. Do not allow the devil to negotiate you out of God’s plan for your life over some films excuses.
If as a man, you have been in more than three relationships that is always ending after a few months, you should know that all the faults are not with the ladies involved, you will need to take a sincere, incisive and confrontational inventory about what went wrong from your own end and then consciously correct them so that you don't make the same mistakes in a new relationship.
That is how to be a man. That is how to separate the boys from the men. Real men face the truth, even when their ego is bruised.
2. Verbalise your love
A lady goes though a complexity of emotions. Her thought patterns are not as simple, straight-forward and logical as that of a man. Sometimes, she just needs to be assured. She just needs to feel protected and that she is understood.
One moment she is happy and exuberant, the next moment, she is glum faced, and you are wondering whether she needs deliverance. Well, it’s just her emotions, and sometimes it could be spiritual as well. That is why the first thing I said was “Pray for her!”
But when you go like, “What is wrong with you? At twenty-seven, why are you behaving like a baby?” Well, she is your baby! Really!
Saying “I love you” constantly means a lot to her. A lot of men simply stop verbalising their love after wedding. That is a huge mistake because a lady wants to hear that every time. The one you said two hours ago has expired!
Don't be like that man who asked his wife what the problem was and the wife replied, “It’s because you don’t say, “I love you!”
The man simply went to a studio, recorded into a CD, the words “I love you,” over a thousand times. He gave it to his wife and said, “Just play this anytime you want to hear “I love you.”
The woman took the CD and threw it out of the window! “I want to hear it from you! I didn't marry a CD!”
3. Be romantic
Every lady wants her man to be romantic. The reason most men are not romantic is very simple. They never saw their dad being romantic to their mum! Well, it can be learnt! Get out of the mould of tradition and be creative about your love for your wife. Read books and learn how you can make your wife happy. It is every important so that you can have some peace in your home!
As singles in a relationship, make sure your bid to be romantic has boundaries. Don’t come and say Pastor Dunamis said we should be romantic and then you start kissing her! No! You don't have to be sinful to be romantic.
A lot of guys don't even know what it means to be romantic.
One day, sister Sube complained to her fiancé, Brother Zerubbabel that he is not romantic at all, to which Bro. Zeru replied, “But I read the book of Romans a lot!
Singles in relationship, be romantic without sinning. Married couples, you can go all the way and be constantly romantic to your wife!
4. Stay in communication
The next way to show your love is to stay in communication. I have said it many times that I don’t really understand singles who say they are in a relationship and a month would pass with no communication. That is ridiculous!
When a person is truly in love with you, the person wants to talk with you all the time. Every opportunity he has, he wants to be with you or talk to you.
If he keeps saying he is busy, the reality is that it is either he is in longer interested or the love has waned completely.
Dear young lady, if he has not called you in three months, there is no relationship. Do not allow you emotions to be taken on a ride that leads nowhere. Do not hang your life on a man who calls you from abroad once in six months! Move on with your life or else the disappointment will be monumental.
God shows His love for us by communicating with us all the time. A lady is a “talk” being. She wants to talk and she wants to be heard and you need to understand this.
In marriage, it doesn't change at all. Deliberately create an “us” time where all you do is just talk and listen. That is very important in keeping the fire burning in marriage.
5. Do not cheat on her
One of the greatest ways you can also show your love to her is to stay faithful. In fact, you are not only showing love to her by staying faithful, you will also be showing love to your own destiny, your children or your future children. This is because the consequences of adultery or unfaithfulness are very weighty.
" But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. A wound and dishonour shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away." (Pro 6:32-33, KJV)
As singles in a relationship, stay faithful. Do not get involved with more than one person at a time. Doing so brings you into a place of constant insincerity and deception.
I always tell singles, do not train yourself to accommodate compromise in your spiritual life. When you keep sinning together, you are training yourselves to sin against each other eventually. It goes without saying that whoever sins with you will soon sin against you.
Be resolute in your decision to stay away from jeru trap. You can do it. You can stop it. Do not sow wrong seeds in your marriage by compromising in courtship. If you make a mistake, it is okay, ask God to forgive you and make sure you stop. But to continue sleeping together, you are actually playing with fire.
"Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned?" (Pro 6:27-28, KJV)
There are many women today who are sad because of their husbands’ infidelity. It is a shame really, when a man begins to desecrate the sanctity of marriage. There is nothing manly about cheating on your loved one. It simply shows you are a boy!
Ladies, when you suspect that he is cheating on you, do not adopt a tit-for-tat approach wherein you retaliate with cheating as well. That will bring chaos into your family! The first thing is to pray and ask for wisdom. The second thing is to talk to his mentor or pastor whom he listens to. If he has nobody he listens to, that is a complicated situation entirely.
I always tell singles, do not marry a man who has no mentor or pastor!
6. Take her shopping occasionally
Another way to show love to her is to take her shopping once in a while and simply spoil her. There is something in the brain of every woman that comes alive when they hear “shopping!”
When you take her shopping, watch how her countenance comes alive and how fulfilled she would be. A woman’s love should however not be dependent on shopping trips!
Ladies would never outgrow shopping “things” So guys, be prepared and pray that God should bless you!
7. Help her realise her dreams
The next way to care for her is to consciously help her in realising her dreams. Most times, her dreams are aligned with yours, but that does not mean it should be completely buried all in the name of submission. She feels loved when she knows that you are interested in the pursuit of her dreams alongside yours.
8. Understand her sexuality
Finally, understand her sexuality.
A lady in a relationship before wedding is not to be pressured for jeru trap. That is the kingdom style, regardless of what obtains in the world. You show utmost respect for a lady when you do not ask her for jeru trap and you show your maturity as a man when you decide to wait! Yes, it is not easy to wait, but you can wait. Waiting shows your utmost respect first of all for the God you serve and for her as a person. It is the greatest foundation you can lay in your relationship and marriage.
It builds trust. It shows you are not carnal. It shows you love God. It shows you are not profane like Esau!
"Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright." (Heb 12:16, KJV)
Now, real maturity is when she does not mind having jeru trap and yet you say No! You see her body language, she doesn't really mind because she is so much in love, she has become emotionally vulnerable, her knees are weakened, and her resistance is broken and yet as a man, with all the intense desire, redness of eyes and designer headaches, you say like Joseph, how can I sin against God! That is a man! That is a man in every respect. God will honour you for that. God will give you much too rule over. God will take you higher than you ever imagined because you can be trusted!
And for ladies who are giving a nod to jeru trap outside marriage, you are not helping him in any way and it will surely bring regrets. Stay away from such. You cannot imagine the kind of pressure he is having and yet you are still touching him all over the place!
When I was courting my wife, I nearly died from jeru trap pressures because we lived in the same compound as under-graduates, but I refused to compromise. You can do it too. And you will see, that you won’t die from any pressure, you will rather live longer!
When it is the man putting pressure, you are just being carnal. Maybe you don’t really know the consequences of jeru trap, that whole destinies can be truncated in minutes, that demonic oppressions can be initiated and that your relationship with God will be jeopardised. Just five minutes of compromise, and one’s life can be set backward for the next ten years! Don't play with fire. Don’t bring delay into your marital journey!
In marriage, you also need to understand her sexuality, that she wants to be pursued all the time. That jeru trip for her is not a segregated action, but a whole experience starting from the morning, from attitudes, care, love shown and understanding.
Written by Pastor Dunamis Okunowo
How do you love your fiancee or wife?
Let’s take a look at the scriptures
"Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her," (Eph 5:25-26, MSG)
Husbands are to go all out for their wives. The above scripture says this love is marked by giving and not just getting. Your words should evoke her beauty! Everything you do and say as a man should be designed to bring the best out of her.
What are the practical ways you can love your fiancee/wife?
1. Pray for her
The first way you show love to your wife is to constantly pray for her. She needs your prayers! As singles in a relationship, you need to understand that nobody is perfect. The fact that God said a certain sister is going be your wife does not mean she is going to be perfect and without weaknesses. But you can be sure your prayers for her will go a long way in dealing with issues that will arise as a result of differential opinions and outlooks.
Rather than argue endlessly, pray for her. Rather than conclude that she is difficult and impossible, pray for her. Rather than end that relationship, pray for her first.
Learn to fight for what God has given you. Do not allow the devil to negotiate you out of God’s plan for your life over some films excuses.
If as a man, you have been in more than three relationships that is always ending after a few months, you should know that all the faults are not with the ladies involved, you will need to take a sincere, incisive and confrontational inventory about what went wrong from your own end and then consciously correct them so that you don't make the same mistakes in a new relationship.
That is how to be a man. That is how to separate the boys from the men. Real men face the truth, even when their ego is bruised.
2. Verbalise your love
A lady goes though a complexity of emotions. Her thought patterns are not as simple, straight-forward and logical as that of a man. Sometimes, she just needs to be assured. She just needs to feel protected and that she is understood.
One moment she is happy and exuberant, the next moment, she is glum faced, and you are wondering whether she needs deliverance. Well, it’s just her emotions, and sometimes it could be spiritual as well. That is why the first thing I said was “Pray for her!”
But when you go like, “What is wrong with you? At twenty-seven, why are you behaving like a baby?” Well, she is your baby! Really!
Saying “I love you” constantly means a lot to her. A lot of men simply stop verbalising their love after wedding. That is a huge mistake because a lady wants to hear that every time. The one you said two hours ago has expired!
Don't be like that man who asked his wife what the problem was and the wife replied, “It’s because you don’t say, “I love you!”
The man simply went to a studio, recorded into a CD, the words “I love you,” over a thousand times. He gave it to his wife and said, “Just play this anytime you want to hear “I love you.”
The woman took the CD and threw it out of the window! “I want to hear it from you! I didn't marry a CD!”
3. Be romantic
Every lady wants her man to be romantic. The reason most men are not romantic is very simple. They never saw their dad being romantic to their mum! Well, it can be learnt! Get out of the mould of tradition and be creative about your love for your wife. Read books and learn how you can make your wife happy. It is every important so that you can have some peace in your home!
As singles in a relationship, make sure your bid to be romantic has boundaries. Don’t come and say Pastor Dunamis said we should be romantic and then you start kissing her! No! You don't have to be sinful to be romantic.
A lot of guys don't even know what it means to be romantic.
One day, sister Sube complained to her fiancé, Brother Zerubbabel that he is not romantic at all, to which Bro. Zeru replied, “But I read the book of Romans a lot!
Singles in relationship, be romantic without sinning. Married couples, you can go all the way and be constantly romantic to your wife!
4. Stay in communication
The next way to show your love is to stay in communication. I have said it many times that I don’t really understand singles who say they are in a relationship and a month would pass with no communication. That is ridiculous!
When a person is truly in love with you, the person wants to talk with you all the time. Every opportunity he has, he wants to be with you or talk to you.
If he keeps saying he is busy, the reality is that it is either he is in longer interested or the love has waned completely.
Dear young lady, if he has not called you in three months, there is no relationship. Do not allow you emotions to be taken on a ride that leads nowhere. Do not hang your life on a man who calls you from abroad once in six months! Move on with your life or else the disappointment will be monumental.
God shows His love for us by communicating with us all the time. A lady is a “talk” being. She wants to talk and she wants to be heard and you need to understand this.
In marriage, it doesn't change at all. Deliberately create an “us” time where all you do is just talk and listen. That is very important in keeping the fire burning in marriage.
5. Do not cheat on her
One of the greatest ways you can also show your love to her is to stay faithful. In fact, you are not only showing love to her by staying faithful, you will also be showing love to your own destiny, your children or your future children. This is because the consequences of adultery or unfaithfulness are very weighty.
" But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. A wound and dishonour shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away." (Pro 6:32-33, KJV)
As singles in a relationship, stay faithful. Do not get involved with more than one person at a time. Doing so brings you into a place of constant insincerity and deception.
I always tell singles, do not train yourself to accommodate compromise in your spiritual life. When you keep sinning together, you are training yourselves to sin against each other eventually. It goes without saying that whoever sins with you will soon sin against you.
Be resolute in your decision to stay away from jeru trap. You can do it. You can stop it. Do not sow wrong seeds in your marriage by compromising in courtship. If you make a mistake, it is okay, ask God to forgive you and make sure you stop. But to continue sleeping together, you are actually playing with fire.
"Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned?" (Pro 6:27-28, KJV)
There are many women today who are sad because of their husbands’ infidelity. It is a shame really, when a man begins to desecrate the sanctity of marriage. There is nothing manly about cheating on your loved one. It simply shows you are a boy!
Ladies, when you suspect that he is cheating on you, do not adopt a tit-for-tat approach wherein you retaliate with cheating as well. That will bring chaos into your family! The first thing is to pray and ask for wisdom. The second thing is to talk to his mentor or pastor whom he listens to. If he has nobody he listens to, that is a complicated situation entirely.
I always tell singles, do not marry a man who has no mentor or pastor!
6. Take her shopping occasionally
Another way to show love to her is to take her shopping once in a while and simply spoil her. There is something in the brain of every woman that comes alive when they hear “shopping!”
When you take her shopping, watch how her countenance comes alive and how fulfilled she would be. A woman’s love should however not be dependent on shopping trips!
Ladies would never outgrow shopping “things” So guys, be prepared and pray that God should bless you!
7. Help her realise her dreams
The next way to care for her is to consciously help her in realising her dreams. Most times, her dreams are aligned with yours, but that does not mean it should be completely buried all in the name of submission. She feels loved when she knows that you are interested in the pursuit of her dreams alongside yours.
8. Understand her sexuality
Finally, understand her sexuality.
A lady in a relationship before wedding is not to be pressured for jeru trap. That is the kingdom style, regardless of what obtains in the world. You show utmost respect for a lady when you do not ask her for jeru trap and you show your maturity as a man when you decide to wait! Yes, it is not easy to wait, but you can wait. Waiting shows your utmost respect first of all for the God you serve and for her as a person. It is the greatest foundation you can lay in your relationship and marriage.
It builds trust. It shows you are not carnal. It shows you love God. It shows you are not profane like Esau!
"Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright." (Heb 12:16, KJV)
Now, real maturity is when she does not mind having jeru trap and yet you say No! You see her body language, she doesn't really mind because she is so much in love, she has become emotionally vulnerable, her knees are weakened, and her resistance is broken and yet as a man, with all the intense desire, redness of eyes and designer headaches, you say like Joseph, how can I sin against God! That is a man! That is a man in every respect. God will honour you for that. God will give you much too rule over. God will take you higher than you ever imagined because you can be trusted!
And for ladies who are giving a nod to jeru trap outside marriage, you are not helping him in any way and it will surely bring regrets. Stay away from such. You cannot imagine the kind of pressure he is having and yet you are still touching him all over the place!
When I was courting my wife, I nearly died from jeru trap pressures because we lived in the same compound as under-graduates, but I refused to compromise. You can do it too. And you will see, that you won’t die from any pressure, you will rather live longer!
When it is the man putting pressure, you are just being carnal. Maybe you don’t really know the consequences of jeru trap, that whole destinies can be truncated in minutes, that demonic oppressions can be initiated and that your relationship with God will be jeopardised. Just five minutes of compromise, and one’s life can be set backward for the next ten years! Don't play with fire. Don’t bring delay into your marital journey!
In marriage, you also need to understand her sexuality, that she wants to be pursued all the time. That jeru trip for her is not a segregated action, but a whole experience starting from the morning, from attitudes, care, love shown and understanding.
Written by Pastor Dunamis Okunowo
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