Your Voice Your Life

Anger creeps up on you when you least expect it to.  Maybe it’s something someone says, or your mom telling you that you can’t have an extended curfew that night. But whatever gets you angry, have you ever noticed it’s pretty hard to calm down?

Everyone gets angry.  It’s a natural emotion.  It’s ok to feel anger.  However what you do with your anger is what defines your character.  We’ve all heard moms yelling at their kids, girlfriends yelling at their boyfriends, and kids yelling at their brother or sister. Most people have yelled at someone in their life at least once.

Take a moment to think back to the last time you yelled at someone.  Take a minute to think about what was going on that made you react that way.  How did you feel right after you yelled?  How did you feel 10 minutes after you yelled?  If asked, most people regret yelling at someone they care about.  What did yelling accomplish anyway?  It may have made you feel better momentarily, but did yelling really accomplish something that simply talking couldn’t?  Did you really mean what you said when you were angry?
If your anger is beginning to strain or even ruin relationships with those around you, it’s time to start taking action! Here are a few steps to begin changing!

1. The first step is to identify what you physically feel when you start feeling angry.

Do you clench your teeth or fists?

Do you start breathing heavy?

Start to recognize what your triggers are and notice how your body reacts.

2. When you notice your body reacting, counteract those feelings.

If you’re getting tense……Take a deep breath.

Close your eyes and count to 3 in your mind.

Loosen your muscles by flexing them a few times then relaxing them.

Do the opposite of your body’s negative reaction.

3. Calm your mind down.

Anger can easily snowball, so take a few moments to stop the angry statements running through your head.

Remind yourself that you can’t take back what you say.  Will you regret it later?

Ask yourself if it’s really worth getting upset over?  Will the issue even matter in a week, month, or year?

4. Final step- Put it all together.

When you feel yourself getting angry, calm your body down

Walk away from the situation for a few minutes

Tell the person you’re with that you need a few minutes to calm down
Take a deep breath

Think about what you want to say before you say it…wait at least 5 seconds before you speak! Calmly say how you feel without yelling!
​​