TruthOrator's Blog

Conquering fear and phobias  The heart of a lion       Once upon a time there was a lion living alone in the forest. He decided to leave the forest to find another interesting place because he was bored of his life. The lion kept moving until it found a small garden inside the city with many cats living in it. The lion lived among the cats and felt happy with its new life. One day a little kid started to run towards the cats fast and as a result all cats felt afraid and ran. The lion stood clueless not knowing what to do until one cat told him "run run". Because the lion was clueless about the right action it started running as well. Days passed and the lion started behaving more and more like cats until it forgot that it was a lion. This lion carried the heart of a lion but because it was subjected to a great pressure to act like the cats that lion heart was completely useless. How to have the heart of a lion What does this story has to do with having the heart of the

It’s surprisingly easy to ruin a perfectly good relationship. You may not be aware that you’re doing it. Hell, you may think that you’re doing everything right to help keep your relationship healthy and strong… so when your significant other sits down across from you at dinner with that look on his or her face – you know the one – it comes as a total surprise. The problem is that sometimes what helps a relationship survive – and what ends up killing it instead – can be completely counter-intuitive. Some behaviors, especially if you’ve been single for a while or just aren’t used to committed, long-term relationships, may feel absolutely natural to a single person… but they’re poison to relationships. If you want to keep your relationship running strong, you need to know what you may be doing that might be ruining it instead. 1. Letting Sex Just “Happen” One of the biggest lies that we tend to absorb is that we shouldn’t think too much about sex. Sex is best when it is utterly spont

As a psychotherapist who specializes in emotions, and as a woman with my own personal history of serial monogamy, I have come to realize that some men channel their need for love, intimacy, soothing, care, and comfort into sexual desire. Here are some examples: Dylan wants sex when he feels sad because he likes the comfort the physical holding provides. Dylan, like most people, wants to be held when he is sad. In fact, the need to be held when we feel sad is biologically programmed into our brains. Jonathan wants sex when he’s lonely. He believes it is weak to let someone know that he feels lonely and wants company. Alternatively, he thinks it is acceptable to find and ask for sex, which satisfies his need fo7r human connection. Sexual excitement is a core emotion. And, as we know from research on emotions, each core emotion has a “program” that has evolved over thousands of years for survival purposes. This “program” causes specific physical sensations and impulses to arise inside

Happy Woman Smiling And Resting Relaxed On The Grass “If you think you’re enlightened, go spend a week with your family.” — Ram Dass I just returned from a four-day trip with my family. It was my own family of four (my husband and two kids), plus my mom, my two sisters, and my brother-in-law. It was great. We get along well and have fun together. And, it was four days with family. It’s a funny thing… although you grow up with your siblings, listening to and being influenced by your parents, you all end up so unique — different from each other and different from the adults who raised you. Of course we’re all unique. But our differences seem to be a little harder to accept or dismiss when we’re talking about family. These are the people you care about most in the world, and that usually means they can get under your skin like no others. We tend to have the most opinions about, and agendas for, the ones with whom we have the deepest emotional connection. Unconditional love and all o

No matter how limitless your budget and how strong your arm, there are certain times when throwing money at a problem simply won't help. So take a look at the list below and ask yourself: Are you facing a situation whose solution might require thought and effort, as opposed to more bankroll? 1. A Failed Relationship A lot of relationships founder on the shoals of money issues, but even those can't be healed by throwing money at them — what they need is mostly better communication plus a generous dollop of willingness to compromise. And if the relationship problems aren't related to money, throwing money at it won't help at all. 2. A Mid-Life Crisis It's a cliche of the mid-life crisis for a 40-something man to buy a red convertible, but it's not a purchase that's going to solve existential angst. Of course there's nothing wrong with buying a red convertible if you want one, and can afford it. It just doesn't solve any problems. (Not even the prac

For the most part, most of us know how we should be living our lives. We should exercise five times a week, right? And if you listen to the doctor and the USDA, we should build a diet based on the food pyramid, stuffing down nine servings of fruits and vegetables per day. We should limit the amount of alcohol and sugar we consume and make our beds every morning when we rise. We should read to our kids every night, be thankful for everything we have, and do our best at work whether we feel like it or not. And, by golly, we should create a written monthly budget to keep our families on track with our financial goals. We should spend less, save more, and put our responsibilities ahead of our desires. All of that sounds great, right? Except for one thing – time. While we all know what we should be doing, few of us feel like we have the time to live the life we truly want. And boy, do we pay for it. Four Ways You Might Be Wasting Time Every Day But, just like anything else, we do have

H“Excellence can be obtained if you care more than others think is wise, risk more than others think is safe, dream more than others think is practical, expect more than others think is possible.” ~Unknown After several excruciatingly painful and profoundly frightening years of undiagnosed symptoms, I was diagnosed with a “progressive and incurable” neurological disease, Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy/Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (RSD/CRPS). It’s characterized by unrelenting pain that is disproportionate to the inciting event, usually an injury or trauma. As luck would have it I was diagnosed and, shortly after, hospitalized for the first of three times, just as I was accepted into a Master’s program for clinical social work. I always saw myself obtaining a Master’s Degree and a Ph.D., but how would I accomplish these grueling and seemingly impossible tasks if I could barely stand up long enough to brush my teeth on a cocktail of the most potent narcotics available? I didn’t have t

Have you ever felt grateful a relationship didn’t work out? Have you ever looked around at what you have now and thought, “Dang, I really dodged a bullet with that one!” If so, you’ve probably been reminded of that Garth Brooks song, “Unanswered Prayers.” While in the thick of your relationship and still struggling, you were willing to do anything to make it work. You prayed. You brainstormed solutions. You hoped he or she would wise up and change. But it fell apart somehow, and you’re perfectly fine with it now. In fact, you may even be thrilled things didn’t turn out quite like you planned. This is exactly how I feel about someone I dated in my early 20s. Let’s call him my “money nightmare.” You know, I wasn’t great with money at the time either (mostly because I didn’t have any). But he was really, really bad. How bad? Bounce a check almost every other week bad. Have a bad day at work and randomly quit your job bad. Spend your rent money buying your friends drinks at the bar ba

If you’re anything like me, you’re incredibly tempted several times a day to spend money on something that you don’t really need. Maybe it’s a bottle of Gatorade at the convenience store or out of a vending machine. Maybe it’s an online purchase. Maybe it’s another $5 in tokens for whatever your favorite mobile game is. Maybe it’s a latte from Starbucks. Maybe it’s a lunch out with some of your coworkers. Maybe it’s the bill for your Netflix subscription. Whatever it is, you spend a few dollars on it – or maybe a few more than a few dollars. And then you forget about it. This happens again and again and again throughout the month, and by the end of the month, you’re wondering where all of the money went. “How can we possibly be broke? How can we be making this much money and not saving anything?” The reason that this is happening can be summed up in three simple words: lack of self-control. Over and over again, you make the short-term choice in a given spending situation without c