TruthOrator's Blog

We spend billions each year on our appearance. Gym memberships, dieting programs that may or may not work, new clothes and more. Don’t get me wrong, we should care how we look. But, what do our marriages look like? More importantly, where does our marital health rank on the list of To-Do’s? Instead of our bodies and physical appearance being top priorities, what if we put that focus on our marriages instead? The hardest part of parenting, that no one seems to want to warn you about, is the strain children have on your marriage. Children can come between you and your spouse. For us, it’s quite literal. I can’t seem to hug my wife without my 4-year-old butting in between us to make a “sandwich.” As the years go by, the children naturally become our focus, making it easy to lose sight of each other. We don’t take the time or energy necessary to stay connected. But, this trend can be stopped if you give your marriage a “check up.” I believe there are seven words that, if applied to o

Growing up I was a thoughtful and happy kid—carefree, easy going, not afraid to make mistakes and take on challenges. Just before I turned 13, my parents moved our family halfway across the world where we knew no one. I adjusted well, made friends, and felt content and successful in my pursuit of whatever I decided was worth pursuing. I was strong and confident. I worked hard, laughed easily and often, and felt as if I had the good life all figured out. Then shortly after I turned twenty-five a severe depressive episode hit me like a ton of bricks. Looking back, I can see how it came about, how several traumatic events stacked upon themselves until I finally collapsed under their weight, but at the time I felt annihilated, ploughed over, and destroyed virtually overnight. I spent the next nine months steeped in profound physical, emotional, and mental anguish. The shame was the worst part. Despite years of evidence to the contrary, when I couldn’t get myself off the couch f

Goals are an important part of it, but so are personal and professional relations, passions and desires. For almost everyone, living a complete life is an ongoing process – every day we take steps or perform tasks that help us achieve the goals and desires we have set forth in our life. It’s very easy to live life – to go through the motions – without living fulfilled. Far too many of us are getting up every day and we don’t have a passion or purpose in what we do.  We’ve lost track of our life goals and are not sure how to get back on the path towards living a fulfilled life. So how do we get back on track in our lives? Or if we already are on track, what are some of the tips that can help keep us on track? I’ve compiled a list of 5 areas that you can focus on that can help you achieve living a fulfilled and complete life. Turn Your Desires and Wants into Goals We all have desires and wants in our life. For some of us it can be a desire to be able to retire early, for other

“Don’t wait for people to be friendly. Show them how.” ~Unknown The other night I called an old friend I hadn’t talked to in a while. As we caught up, shared stories, and laughed over private jokes that would sound ridiculous had the phone been tapped, I wondered why I let so much time go by since I’d last given her a call. We don’t live close to each other, so grabbing a drink or hitting up a yoga class isn’t an option. But really connecting with her, sharing pieces of my life  and receiving the pieces she wants to give, doesn’t require specific geography. We can be great friends to each other, despite the distance, if we choose to make the effort. If we remember to make the time, we can have those types of meaningful, fulfilling conversations that make us feel seen, understood, appreciated, and supported. Then I started to think about all the times when I’ve gotten busy and lost touch with friends who live right down the street—times when I got caught up in everything going o

If you’re often left with too much month at the end of your money, it’s time to reduce your spending and start saving. Just a little money every month. Because, believe it or not, it's good for your health too. Take a look at how. 1. It’s less stressful.via GiphyKnowing that you’re one paycheck away from financial disaster is extremely stressful, and this stress can be hard to live with. Over time, it can lead to all sorts of health conditions like anxiety, depression, insomnia, and even heart problems. 2. It makes you feel a little saner. When you’ve saved money, you feel like you have a better grip on things and that feeling of control brings you one step closer to sanity. 3. It makes you happier. Admit it, knowing that you have money makes you happy. Doesn’t it? While saving money isn’t fun in itself, having money when you need it is definitely a great feeling. 4. It helps you shed those extra pounds. Being a cheapskate can help you live a healthier lifestyle. It’

Here're some suggested questions you can ask someone you're trying to know better. Each question will provide you a glimpse into an aspect of their personality. Put these questions to yourself and you may get to know yourself better. Are there any causes you strongly believe in? Are you a member of any societies or associations? Are you a people's person or do you prefer your own company? Are you a virgin? If not, how old were you when you lost your virginity? Are you addicted to anything? Are you afraid of ghosts? Are you afraid of heights? Are you short tempered? Can you dance? Do you like dancing? Can you keep a secret? Do you believe in life afther death? Do you believe in marriage? Why? Do you believe in monogamy? Do you consider yourself a neat or messy person? Do you consider yourself lazy? Do you drink? Do you have a role model? Do you have any siblings? If yes, are they older/younger to you? Are they male or female? Do you have many friends? Are

When my husband and I first got married, we lived in a tiny, garden cottage in Johannesburg, South Africa. It was about the size of a studio apartment, and it didn’t give us much room to get away from one another. We also had cockroaches, ants, and rats living in the ceiling. Being situated in a garden—and with bamboo growing along one side—it was to be expected. And, it was really quite charming otherwise. Like many newlyweds, we fought. We’d been through pre-marriage counseling and devoured marriage books; we read our Bible and prayed together. While what was written on those pages was being transferred to us, it wasn’t transforming us. We wooed each other, and then we hurt each other. We gushed love sonnets, and then we screamed. He was South African; I was American—we were different. We had different backgrounds and upbringings, experiences and expectations. Two Flawed Humans Trying to Express Christ’s Love We’re two flawed humans, so we knew life would be hard at times. We k

You are powerful when you believe in yourself – when you know that you are capable of anything you put your mind to. You are beautiful when your strength and determination shines as you follow your own path – when you aren’t disheveled by the obstacles along the way. You are unstoppable when you let your mistakes educate you, as your confidence builds from experiences – when you know you can fall down, pick yourself up, and move forward. Here are 11 ways to become the person you love. 1. Stop judging, and appreciate the beauty within you. – Judging yourself is not the same as being honest with yourself.  When it comes to living as a compassionate, non-judgmental human being, the only challenge greater than learning to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, is learning to walk a lifetime comfortably in your own.  In every smile there is beauty.  In every heart there is love.  In every mind there is wisdom.  In every human being there is a soul, there is life, there is worth, and

“Waking up to who you are requires letting go of who you imagine yourself to be.” ~Alan Watts When I was in third grade, I loved to hang upside down on the monkey bars on the playground of my all-girls school in Philadelphia. I would lock my little pale knees over the gray steel rods and then carefully let my hands go to swing upside down, like a pendulum in a pleated skirt. This meant I had to bravely trust that my normally feeble strength would be sufficient to suspend me. It was always a victorious feeling when the backs of my knees started to burn. This meant it was time to carefully return to earth on own my terms. Alix – 1, Gravity – 0! One day, a clump of dead grass attached itself to the sole of my Stride Rite. As I was flipping off the bars, it dropped into my mouth. I hit the ground gagging and spewing, completely grossed out. Doubled-over and hacking out the grass was not a little noisy. I made quite the scene; however, it failed to attract the attention of my

Change. It's the only constant in life.  Change is what drives everything.  Even in death, there is change...with slow change of your physical composition into something else that you will be into eternity.  To change you start with something...perform an action on it...and end up with something different. Ideally, as an entrepreneur, you use change as the way you can advance yourself. To advance your business, ideas, career.  You cannot be an entrepreneur without embracing change. But... Change isn't easy. Even the change that we want to achieve is rarely easy.  Why? Because there are three attributes to change that can hold us back. Constant psychologic roadblocks that work against us changing. Holding us back from changing.  Sometimes that's a good thing to be held back from change...but other times it holds us back from enacting the change that can help us achieve more and make our lives better. We don't always know which change will be positive...and whic

 In a previous article entitled how to build wealth by saving money without sacrificing your livelihood, I discussed different ways that my wife and I save money on a day to day basis without drastically affecting our lifestyle. While finding good deals and extending your money is an important aspect of accumulating wealth, deciding the right things to buy and avoiding spending altogether is every bit as crucial. Because spending and saving go hand in hand, the ability to allocate your funds wisely coupled with a proper savings plan will exponentially increase your pool of wealth. So how does saving money differ from spending money wisely? Saving money is the act of finding the least expensive method of making a purchase that has already been planned. Spending wisely pertains to the decision making process that goes along with making a purchase. Know Your Purpose For Spending Money Why do we make purchases? Most of time, my wife and I buy things because they are either aesthetic

... because nothing is over until you decide it is. Do you need some simple, practice tips for how to cope when things go wrong—or when everything goes wrong? For example: You're anxious to start your vacation but your plane is stuck on the tarmac for three hours. You buy expensive ingredients to cook for a dinner party but it turns out inedible. You go to a show with your partner for a long-overdue date night and everything that could go wrong goes wrong. Here are some tips for managing the worst days and getting your groove back. 1. Put it in perspective. Whatever is happening, will it matter a year from now? For some situations, the answer might very well be yes—e.g., a job interview at your favorite company that goes badly—but in many cases, it will be no. 2. What do you need to accept? Accepting reality helps you cognitively and emotionally move on. For example, if your plane is already very late, do you need to accept that your prebooked transfers at your de

I believe life is in the details. Ongoing small gestures can mean so much more than one grand display of love. Simple pleasures throughout the day can be far more gratifying that one amazing weekend. When you connect the dots between all these little joys, life seems fuller and more satisfying. “Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” ~Robert Brault I’ve created a list of all the little things that fill me with bliss. Here’s what I’ve got so far: 1. Breakfast in bed. You don’t need someone to bring it to you—just make it and then curl back up with your duvet! 2. Cuddling in bed in the morning. A body pillow isn’t quite the same as someone you love, but sometimes it just feels good to hold something in your arms. 3. A smile from a stranger; give one and you may get one. 4. Children playing, reminding you to be joyful. Pass the park on the way home. 5. A small gesture of kindness from someone who loves you. The remote co

I believe life is in the details. Ongoing small gestures can mean so much more than one grand display of love. Simple pleasures throughout the day can be far more gratifying that one amazing weekend. When you connect the dots between all these little joys, life seems fuller and more satisfying. “Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” ~Robert Brault I’ve created a list of all the little things that fill me with bliss. Here’s what I’ve got so far: 1. Breakfast in bed. You don’t need someone to bring it to you—just make it and then curl back up with your duvet! 2. Cuddling in bed in the morning. A body pillow isn’t quite the same as someone you love, but sometimes it just feels good to hold something in your arms. 3. A smile from a stranger; give one and you may get one. 4. Children playing, reminding you to be joyful. Pass the park on the way home. 5. A small gesture of kindness from someone who loves you. The remote co

“Success in life is founded upon attention to the small things rather than to the large things.” – Booker T. Washington Our lives are a large collection of single days one right after the other. The sun rises, the sun sets, and it rises again. And in the end, the lives we chose to live will be determined by how we choose to spend each day. Unfortunately, for most of my life, I embraced little intentionality in my days. I survived each new day, but made little effort to make the most of it. Instead, they simply just came and went… and many were wasted. But over the past few years, my views have changed. I have begun to view each day as an important gift. I have sought to embrace each one individually and discover the potential that it holds. After all, some may get more days than others, but each of us have been given this one. And we ought to be making the most of it. Here are 10 simple steps I have personally found helpful to make the most of every day: 1. Rise early. It was

Unfortunately, personal finance has not yet become a required subject in high school or college, so you might be fairly clueless about how to manage your money when you're out in the real world for the first time. If you think that understanding personal finance is way above your head, though, you're wrong. All it takes to get started on the right path is the willingness to do a little reading - you don't even need to be particularly good at math. To help you get started, we'll take a look at eight of the most important things to understand about money if you want to live a comfortable and prosperous life. 1. Learn Self Control If you're lucky, your parents taught you this skill when you were a kid. If not, keep in mind that the sooner you learn the fine art of delaying gratification, the sooner you'll find it easy to keep your finances in order. Although you can effortlessly purchase an item on credit the minute you want it, it's better to wait until

I shut my eyes so I can see. – artist Paul Gauguin This morning as I took my kids to school, I was feeling rushed and harried. Stress levels high, my face wore a permanent frown, my mind was in a million different places, and my two youngest kids (3 year old, and 20 months) were quiet in their car seats. Then I realized: while my mind is elsewhere, I’m missing some prime moments with my kids. And not really enjoying my day. And so I changed the moment, and in doing so changed my day: we began singing some of our favorite children’s songs. Itsy-bitsy spider, twinkle twinkle, wheels on the bus, ABCDs, I’ve been working on the railroad, the ants go marching two by two … all of the oldies. Instead of thinking about all the things I had to do today, I brought myself into the present moment. And when we got to school, I took a few minutes to spend time with them. Be present with them. It was truly lovely. This little incident not only brought warmth and joy into my heart … it broug